Tranformers: Dark of the Moon-Third time’s a charm?

Now, I was hoping that after the disappointing Revenge of the Fallen, that maybe Michael Bay and his crew would have regrouped, reviewed where they had gone wrong, and taken on the production of another Transformers sequel with the mindset of making it just as good as the original film…then again I was also hoping that Inception would win the Oscar for best picture and everyday I wish that Twilight did not exist and that I had the ability to breathe under water; the point being that we don’t always get what we want. And unless you are a rabid car enthusiast, a fan of Michael Bay’s signature explosions, or maybe an eleven-year-old child (for the three who were sitting behind me in the theater were the only ones who laughed, zealously I might add, throughout the entire film) then Transformers: Dark of the Moon is going to be two hours and fourteen minutes of brain-disintegrating disappointment.

As in all the Transformers films, CGI plays a huge part. While the original Transformers showcases detailed and visually brilliant sequences with the Autobots and Decepticons, Dark of the Moon houses s many action sequences that a feeling of overkill emerges very early in the film, making for an overall cheapened and overwhelming look. And, just a personal opinion, since Rise of the Fallen, some of the newly introduced robots have taken on too human of an appearance, sporting eyes brows with the intent of bushiness and metal beards that hold the illusion of being rather light and that actually rustle as they move. In short, visually, Dark of the Moon bites off more than it can chew but despite this continues to chow down with gusto.

Michael Bay’s usually very defined directing style slips in this film to the point where everything feels mediocre and all over the place. During a couple of scenes, the screen goes black then returns to the action a few seconds later only to go black again. This repeats three or four times in the same scene, making it feel like you are watching a trailer instead of an actual film. Beware of sudden and pointless slow-motion that does nothing to increase the epicness of the action being showcased as well as drippy, modern music that may look good on the film’s soundtrack but doesn’t fit the mood of the scenes in which its played.

Top it all off with a complete lack of chemistry between the two leads, Shia LeBeouf (whose talent I feel is far more deserving of much better roles) and Victoria’s Secret model-gone-actress Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and there you have Transformers: Dark of the Moon. However, to follow bad news with just a smidgen of good, a few of Dark of the Moon‘s highlights are the beautiful shooting locations from all over the world, the sleek, sexy cars (particularly the cherry bright Ferrari 458 Italia), and a rather amusing line about “exotic milk”, which elicited the only laugh I got from this film.

In conclusion, if I were a schoolmarm, Transformers: Dark of the Moon would be the loud, obnoxious jock who starts the semester with a cocky attitude and ends it with a swift kick in the ass from yours truly and a C- grade.

Runtime: 2 hours 14 minutes
Rating: PG-13
Grade: C-

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