Thor, we need to talk, man. Why would you return to Asgard? Why not stay on the realm of Earth and cater to sweet Jane all the time? Come on, man. Asgard ain’t going anywhere. You can cook, clean and listen to her talk about physics. Maybe on the weekends you could even get a heavy metal band together. Yeah, and call them The Godz of Thunder. Just a thought.
Marvel strikes again in the comic book installation with Thor. The story of Thor boils down to two brothers, Thor and Loki – played respectively by Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston. Both looking to ascend the throne of their precious realm known as Asgard, of course, the arrogant and reckless Thor gets the spot as King of all Asgardians (I think that’s what they call themselves) and leaves his poor, seemingly well-balanced brother Loki second fiddle.
Not long into Thor’s special day, the “Frost Giants” from Jotunheim invade and disrupt the ceremony. Eager to use his inherited hammer (it “destroys or it builds”) Thor retaliates by heading over to the realm of Jotunheim and handing out some serious ass-whippings, much to his old man’s displeasure.
Thor’s pops is irate and sends him off into exile to the forsaken realm that is Earth. On Earth Thor is stripped of his godliness (although Darcy the annoying intern may disagree) and meets the mortally hot Jane played by adorably hot Natalie Portman. Through his mishaps on Earth Thor learns all kinds of life lessons about compassion and patience – be they mortal lessons, Fairchild.
Meanwhile, all hell is breaking loose back in the realm of Asgard. His bro Loki ascends to the throne and conspires; the Frost Giants are wreaking havoc; the protestors outside of Wal-Mart won’t quit (wait, that’s not right); and Thor’s old man is lying on his deathbed. Again, Thor wails on some bad guys and protects the inhabitants of Earth and returns to Asgard to do the same. Of course Thor and Jane have their sappy romance moment where they suck face and Thor promises that he’ll return (ouch!).
Thor starts out as a full-blown fantasy movie, but finds better footing when telling the parallel stories of Earth and Asgard (do I sound dorky yet?) and all the epic events that transpire in both realms. Hemsworth does the role justice, penning out laughs and allowing the audience to buy into his character. It’s utterly hilarious – and hopefully intentional – when he gruffly questions, “What realm is this?” And dude can kick some serious ass when needed (and yes girls, he’s into astrology).
Natalie Portman clearly just showed up for this role and did nothing besides look cute and smitten with the Norse god. The budding romance and Thor’s character arc both seemed a bit rushed and undeveloped, but still provided quality popcorn-munching entertainment. But the character Darcy, played by the ever-so-wry Kat Dennings got away with some great comic relief in maybe her best role since the 40-Year-Old Virgin.
Thor deserves credit for making all the comic book mumbo-jumbo digestible and for providing some much needed humor with Thor’s awkwardness and just plain strangeness on Earth. The epic computer-generated scopes of the otherworldly realms were impressive but the film seemed more exciting when taking place on Earth, or rather in New Mexico.
Take a trip to the entertaining realm of Thor sometime soon, feeble mortals, and enjoy. But, if given the chance, skip the 3D.
Runs 1hr 54min. Rated PG-13.